You sicken me…your kind should be banished

This…is going to be long so if I was you and you don't like long rants, I'd stop here. No seriously.

Anyway today we had a cup game against AFC Mottingham, for those of you who don't know about this team they have no shortage of what we'd call "scum" in their ranks and I shall explain why in a bit.

The match started out as a bit of a shaky affair, they were pressurising us a lot but it was no cause for concern as it's a recurring theme with teams who face us and aren't very good. Play fast and furious for the start and ruffle the other team's feathers early to mask the lack of stamina in your own team. So all we had to do was to be patient as I knew that the last half hour in the game would be crucial as that's when they'll be exposed as the unfit team that they are.

Things didn't quite go to plan as we conceded quite early on as miscommunication rears its ugly head and Ryan and Tommy failed to deal with what should have been a simple clearance leading to Mottingham scoring in an open goal quite clearly putting a spanner in the works.

The second goal came from a penalty which was from a clumsy tackle from Phil but I do not begrudge him for this as he is inexperienced in the left back role and I suppose will gain the experience and get better judgement of when to attack for the ball or to stand them off.

The penalty however was one that was actually poorly taken, they had already made clear their intentions to blast the ball so all that was required was to save the shot that was clearly going in the middle but that couldn't be managed. Suffice to say, that was disappointing.

So here we were, two-nil down but cracks were clearly showing in the other team, they could not pass the ball like we could, they did not have a dominant and imposing figure in the middle that could control the game like we did. The only time I got worried was when we starting to play a little desperate and stopped playing short balls and were all over the place and lost our shape but those moments were few and in between.

The second half was maybe a little better however I did have a few concerns at how slow we were to move the ball from the back. I get a little nervous when our centre backs and full backs get the ball simply because there is usually little room for error and past experience has shown me that when put into a pressure situation like that the right decision isn't always made.

I am a firm believer in that if myself, William and Ryan are playing in the middle then we should always have the ball the majority of the times when we want to attack therefore we should quickly give the defence an option to get the ball to us as quick as possible so we can do our job and supply the ammunition for our attacking forces.

So in the second half they scored after what should have been a routine save from a long shot somehow squirmed underneath our goalkeeper to give them a three-nil lead. Yep, this clearly inferior team were winning by 3 goals because of us, not because they were decent or anything but because we gave them all three goals.

We got a goal back when William decided to dribble straight from kickoff after their goal and somehow Mario had placed it in the back of the net to cut their celebrations short but not only that they had managed to get a player sent off to make harder work for them as their lack of stamina was now beginning to show.

Mario got us a second and a third goal to bring the score back to 3-3 and they managed to get yet another player sent off in the process and thus the game went into extra time.

No-one could break through during it so it went to penalties which...well we lost.

If you made it this far...good for you, that was the match report, a little background information about what spurred this on and my utter disgust.

AFC Mottingham are the most disgusting team I’ve ever played and yes while it wasn’t everyone in their team so I apologise in advance for tarnishing them all with the same brush but you really aren’t that much better if you condone that sort of antics. Football………I grow tired and bored of it, I barely even watch it anymore as I’ve already been more interested in playing it than watching. I love playing it so much as there is nothing like executing a slick one-two or a piece of skill to amaze people, there is nothing like thinking 5 steps ahead of everyone else, knowing what will happen in a move, what you want to happen in a move and yet still being flexible enough to change at a moment’s notice when things do not exactly work out as planned.

Football is a game which it simply about getting the measure of your opponent and trying to score more goals than the opponent and that’s what things should be left to. So when threats are made, when people start essentially behaving like thugs and hooligans it spoils the fun for everyone else and if you are the sort of person that gets a thrill out of breaking someone’s ankle or leg in a game of football then…I pity you.

I feel sad and annoyed at how football has this sort of “laddish” culture towards it and people don’t display the proper amount of respect that anyone as a human being deserves. It’s sad how people can gain enjoyment over wanting to physically hurt another human being and using sport as your excuse where if you did that in the street that essentially is assault. Don’t get it misconstrued as I am not saying that no-one should tackle anyone as there is nothing wrong with a good tackle and I in fact really do appreciate a good challenge but when you are rushing in a 50/50 challenge at 100 miles an hour for a ball you have no chance of winning, what is the obsession with trying to just swing your foot and hit whatever you can? I’ve never understood that and while I don’t criticize referees as they do a tough enough job as it is. This is one thing I felt he should have been a bit tougher on as nobody should have to jump out the way of a reckless challen…assault, concede possession of the ball and then receive absolutely nothing for it. It worries me how little protection we get from teams who basically have thugs who want to kick and punch their way through ninety minutes of football.

The things such as threatening to break someone’s ankle after a game or even worse threatening to knock out a referee of all people simply because he didn’t like a decision, it’s sad how this is what passes as grassroots football, it’s sad how a team as violent and as scum as they were can proceed to the next round of a tournament, no doubt they will be reported and yet nothing will happen.

Vincent Kompany recently came out with a statement saying that at grassroots football racism is most prevalent during it which while that is indeed true I feel this whole racism issue as of late has been nothing but a buzzword for journalists and papers to sell their stories and to simply make money while not actually caring a bit for the actual issue on hand. The thing is at grassroots football the whole attitude stinks from racism to wanting to win matches to sportsmanship to respect. I really like playing football and it saddens me how more people at this level don’t really feel that way.

This is why England will not win anything, too much emphasis is given on physical and brute strength while not enough is on skill and technique of players and when you mix that in with the leniency that is shown to thugs and villains of the game all it does is create an environment where people with skill and talent get viciously kicked and harassed out of the game and then it just doesn’t become fun to play anymore and then become disillusioned and then they quit. Sure you can say that they do not have the character to rise against adversity and if their belief is strong they should keep pushing to achieve their goals and dreams but to that I say BULLSHIT! Complete and utter BULLSHIT!

Why should they have to constantly fight against the system? A system that should be set up to encourage talent, a system that should be set up to weed out stubborn players and to promote a positive way of thinking, a system that brings in players that want to win and enjoy football not to be violent and hurt people and get your enjoyment from that because then you are simply just in the wrong sport. In media everywhere such as films and TV shows we are constantly shown that good people get rewarded while the villains get punished, no doubt a lot of the times you will see the heroes of the story win at the end. Never has that been so false in football.

While I am only one man who doesn’t really have that much power to change anything, it really is time for a change.

Today will be a brief one

Really have to stop thinking these thoughts…it’s like I can’t just be happy and I have to find something to bring me down. Or maybe I was never actually that happy in the first place. I don’t know anymore. I really have no idea what I’m really doing in life anymore.

Haven’t we been here before? Alternative title: Same shit, different toilet of a tournament

England out, oh deary me, and on penalties too. What a shame and the same topics come up in discussion as the last time they were out of a major tournament.

Do I feel bad at this? No. Just no. Italy deserved to go through and the only reason I'd've ever wanted to see England go through to the final is so that the training scheduled on the exact same time as the match would have to be cancelled but it doesn't matter now does it, they are out =D

I was watching the match at the…boozer and I was talking to someone…(memo to self, must make an attempt to actually learn the names of my temporary workmates) and they mentioned about how when it comes to England football games, the culture is one that you see on documentaries and programmes which at first you think that it can’t be true and it’s merely an exaggeration but you know something? It’s not.

Revenge is a dish best served with…salad?

Revenge...oh revenge. The basis of so many stories over the years. The saying eye for an eye has been seen throughout history and inspired so many tales.

So what about it?

Well the thing is we all have our times when we feel wronged and that just punishment has not been served so we decide that retribution is needed and that we'll take it into our own hands but here's the thing, circles.

Guilty before proven innocent

So John Terry isn't going to resign his captaincy during the Euros because he feels he is innocent? Good for him I guess, in a society where people are guilty until proven innocent (and even then still guilty in some people's eyes) I actually feel sorry for him as he receives so much abuse from all sorts of people when the possibility remains that he might actually have been innocent but either way the media and society have already decided that he is guilty

I predict a riot

How do I feel? Happy? Sad, Frightened? Worried? Blissful? I don't actually know, I suppose a combination of blissful and relaxed.

I was worried a bit for my position at Nike but they've sort of reassured me about the situation but I know I won't be relaxed until I start on the first day so until then I'm still slightly anxious for this to not blow up in my face.

Next up is these riots and it's served to do nothing to reaffirm my disappointment in this society. Okay I may not know about the cause of all this other than someone got shot during a protest blah blah blah but what I do know that all this rioting is unnecessary and pointless as well...nothing good is going to come out of it. I may have been all for starting a riot when I was younger (ahhh memories) but rioting without a purpose is....well, like I said, pointless. A change in government policy, a change in the way the place is run, an extremely controversial decision made in court or something like that okay, I can see a riot if enough people felt the same way but even so you'd have to decide whether the repercussions will be worth it for whatever change you had in mind but with this...there doesn't seem to be a purpose with this and that people are rioting and looting for the sake of it.

Anyway...what else is there? Ooh yes, the gym. Well that's going okay I guess, the programme that was given to me I'm trying to stick to and trying to stick to the amount of reps and sets but of course I have off days and that but I'm trying so that's something I'm pleased at. I've been doubted for long enough in regards to football so this year I'm going to be like "I'M BACK MOTHERFUCKERS!" and teach them a lesson in true greatness and what it looks like (me).

I am Jason Mycroft, accept no substitutes.

I predict a riot

How do I feel? Happy? Sad, Frightened? Worried? Blissful? I don't actually know, I suppose a combination of blissful and relaxed.
I was worried a bit for my position at Nike but they've sort of reassured me about the situation but I know I won't be relaxed until I start on the first day so until then I'm still slightly anxious for this to not blow up in my face.

Next up is these riots and it's served to do nothing to reaffirm my disappointment in this society. Okay I may not know about the cause of all this other than someone got shot during a protest blah blah blah but what I do know that all this rioting is unnecessary and pointless as well...nothing good is going to come out of it. I may have been all for starting a riot when I was younger in a jokey way (ahhh memories) but rioting without a purpose is....well, like I said, pointless. A change in government policy, a change in the way the place is run, an extremely controversial decision made in court or something like that okay, I can see a riot if enough people felt the same way but even so you'd have to decide whether the repercussions will be worth it for whatever change you had in mind but with this...there doesn't seem to be a purpose with this and that people are rioting and looting for the sake of it.

Anyway...what else is there? Ooh yes, the gym. Well that's going okay I guess, the programme that was given to me I'm trying to stick to and trying to stick to the amount of reps and sets but of course I have off days and that but I'm trying so that's something I'm pleased at. I've been doubted for long enough in regards to football so this year I'm going to be like "I'M BACK MOTHERFUCKERS!" and teach them a lesson in true greatness and what it looks like (me).

I am Jason Mycroft, accept no substitutes.

Thoughts of mine

Yesterday was an eventful day for me, it started off full of promise really then went spiralling of into despair…maybe that was a bit too far but anyway I started with some phone calls to make, of course one being to the Royal Free hospital to see if they’ll DO SOMETHING ABOUT MY FRICKING KNEE! But alas, they’ve yet to look at my case and they’ll call me back as soon as they do. Oh goody(!) Asides that, I have sorted out an interview to sort out my jobseekers which means I can get a bit more professional help with looking for a job and have a bit of income coming in which no doubt will help me fund my addiction to cocaine and alcohol. No I’m kidding I do not have an addiction to them but it would be nice to have a bit of extra income coming in while I’m also searching for jobs.

It's all about the presents

Christmas. The time of sharing and togethern- blah blah blah. Now, presents, the question that is sometimes asked is 'What do you get the man who has everything?' Good question and sometimes I can really feel like that person. No, not because I have everything but because well, I can convince myself that I don't really need whatever if someone were to ask me what do I want as a present. I would like a lot of things that I see in shops really, I've seen new games and thought I wouldn't mind that and then while I'm thinking that I immediately convince myself that I don't need it. It's worked well for me throughout the years really especially when it came to games consoles, I got my PS2 late as I convinced myself I didn't need it and then got a Gamecube as it was much cheaper at the time and had many a good time with that. Then the PS2 got really cheap and that's when I decided to get in on it and it saved me a lot of money, plus I didn't really miss out on the games on the PS2 as I simply just played on Lee's one. Come the next generation and I did exactly the same thing with the Wii and I was originally going to purchase a Playstation but I decided to get a 360 and it was worth it. Right after I was doing with the Wii (still have it though).

Anyway, not just games consoles but with things such as mobile phones, I do not need to upgrade my phone every month even if there's a 'better' version of it or whatever, nor am I in need of the latest must have phone like the iPhone or whatnot, I'm happy with the phone that I have and will be for a long long time, the only reason I got it was because my previous Nokia phone was actually just unusable so a new phone was needed.

So when I'm asked what do I want for Christmas? Seriously, I could list about a million things I'd want and be interested in...whether I need it though is a different matter.

It doesn't help matters that if I do have to choose, I find it very hard to pick one above another, one that I want more than the others, no favourites and all that and then no doubt I'll end up disappointed, but not because of the gift but because I'll spend my time thinking 'should I have chosen something else instead?'

So when Emily asks me what do I want for Christmas, I really many ideas and have no ideas at the same time. Ohh what to choose, what to choooooose?

Decision time...

Just a little odd

Oooookay, so enough pussyfooting around and let me just jump straight into my grievance today and that would be with society's perception of what weird is.

Ask anyone what it means to be a bit weird and they will tell you that it's something strange, odd, different or basically against expectations. But you see, what exactly is expected of us as humans? There isn't really a guidebook on how to live or anything such as that in fact if anything the only rules really I think are the rules that keep you alive...that's if you are wanting to stay alive. You know, stuff like eating, drinking, sleeping. Don't get that, you die, simple as that, everything else is just a bonus really, how to speak? Not necessary for survival, what music to listen to? Your choice affects not how alive you are. Who to love? Again, just add ons.

Now another thing also is that everyone has a life, that is their own and that live is yours to do with it what you choose. No-one asks to be born, no-one choose when they wish to be alive but seeing as you cannot affect or choose that, you may as well choose and affect how you want to live your life, keyword being 'your'.

I don't know, maybe it's just me but I tend to notice there's a lot of interference in your lives as you live it, I am not talking about like when parents tell you not to touch that thing or you'll burn yourself or when they choose what school you go to and that...although...Anyway, I was thinking more about society and what it means to be 'cool' and 'weird' and other such labels. This also goes with expectations and such because why should other people dictate what music you like, what shows you watch, how you dress, who you like, when in fact it's actually you life? If they want someone that is so and so then why can't they just be that person themselves rather than wanting someone else to do so?.

Now, about the who you love thing, this is an especially annoying thing for me as there is a stigma around certain aspects of it such as who you are attracted to, what gender you're attracted to and so forth.

It's not the hate for them that I dislike intensely as people are free to hate who they want to hate, who am I to tell someone what they should like and dislike, who is anybody to do that really. What galls me is that I quite frankly find the logic of some people's reasoning of hating people like that shocking.

In case it hasn't been figured out, this is really about people attracted to the same sex especially males really, can't really say much about females to comment that much about it. Anywa- in fact, that's another thing, some of the males that are hugely homophobic have absolutely no problem with lesbians and rather find them a turn on but hold on...isn't that just hypocritical? No-one is saying you have to enjoy two men kissing but it just seems rather foolish to be homophobic in that way when you get the same enjoyment if it were two women.

"Ohhh, but it's not right". Yeah, who are you to judge what's not right or not, who are you to decide the factors on all this? The world just simply does not work like that, things are what things are, that's what I say, a green square is a green square, its meaning only changes depending on the observer, that being said, the same apply to two people of the same sex kissing or whatever, it is what it is, nothing more nothing less, some will see it as being right, some will see it as being wrong.

I'm sure there are many other reasons why people may not like gay people and I'm not complaining about that as people can hate who they want to hate but to me the reasons I hear for some doing so are hypocritical and do not really make any sense.