Well it’s my birthday today…Well no, I’m actually writing in beforehand in preparation to the big day. Am I looking forward to it, not as such and what bothers me is that I didn’t want to be one of those people that were miserable on their birthday…you know the ones, those who mope about how every birthday reminds them of how close they are getting to death. I’m not going to be like that because I’m going to be like the other sort of people and reflect on what I’ve done with my life so far and then get miserable over that but…as I think about it I liked primary school in Hargrave Park and I liked growing up in Mary Hare and I might not have “achieved” great things but I’ll always have good memories from it.
The last 5 years however including the final 2 years at Mary Hare I have to say has been kind of a bummer and that’s an understatement, everytime I think about those 5 years I think “it’s all depressing, you really did go to shit during those 5 years” and then ponder “What the hell happened?”.
Well the truth is that I’m not even sure what happened but it feels like it was inevitable now that I think about it and that well really I was not ready at all, it felt like I was forced to go at a pace that I really didn’t want to go at rather than go at my own pace in life but I suppose that’s what happens when you live in a society like this.
10th May 2010
Well now, it’s my birthday and what’s on my mind is how things, like it or not, are different. Suddenly everyone wants to be with you on this one day, you become the person of the day and the most amusing of it all (at least to me), the happy birthday greetings.
Maybe I’m being extremely skeptical but would people remember a birthday if it wasn’t for the reminders on Facebook and all these sites? Maybe, maybe not. I certainly got a lot more Happy Birthday greetings this year than last year when I wasn’t part of Facebook and got all my messages by phone, it’s not that I have a problem with it, just that sometimes it can feel as if it’s a case of ‘having’ to say it and be nice just because of it and I feel the same way on events such as Christmas and New Years.
Yes yes I know, I’m being a grumpy guts but seriously it’s because of the other days they act around me that I just think why does it have to be a special occasion for people to have to want anything to do with another person, my own mother who we’ve just stopped talking to each other (except in shouting and slanging matches) for the past 8 months suddenly decides that she wants to take me to dinner? Yes of course I’m going to be a bit sceptical about it, you think I’m a waste of space and yet you still want to associate with me? What happens the next day, do we go back to just not talking? I don’t have anything to say, making an awkward situation even more awkward. This is why I like keeping the status quo and if you really want to change it, don’t pick a day like somebody’s birthday or an event as that just seems cynical to me. I suppose to some it might be seen as a bit of a catalyst to try and change it but it just ends up like new year resolutions, it goes well for a month then you just end up giving up in the middle of the next month and then go back to the way things were before.
Sometimes I like the status quo, most of the times I don’t. I guess what I hate more than the status quo being what it is, is the status quo changing just for the sake of change. If something is going to change at least be serious about it…though I suspect that sometimes people aren’t really aware of that sort of stuff but nonetheless it annoys me.
I Liked This And Thought It Was Very Good And I'm Always Gunna Be Part Of Your Life; Birthday Or Not ;) I Was A Reminder Of Your Birthday Loooong Before Facebook This Year And I Totally Agree Wid What Chu Said In This Entry About Everyone Suddenly Wanting To Be Interested On A 'Special' Day, In Fact I Was Thinking It Earlier But I Guess All I Wanted To Say Was I Liked This Very Much :]
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