Conversation in progress, please do not interrupt

I don’t have many friends just people I merely tolerate. I have close friends but for me it becomes a problem when I see them as popular people as then it becomes sort of pointless.

I’ve nothing against people that are popular at all but there are times when there are a crowd of people in a certain situation let’s say a gathering, there’s usually one person that everyone or at least most of the people there seemed to gravitate towards, the sort of ‘person of the moment’ sort of thing.

Now when the spotlight shines down on them and they get in this mode and they become “popular”, I find myself not wanting to really talk to them, not out of anger, jealously or anything like that but because in a sense I feel I’m not needed there and that they are dealing with a lot of people, I may as well make it easier for them and withdraw myself and talk to them in a one on one or very small group capacity.

I find the way I look at things in big groups such as that is that people are puppies. Constantly seeking attention and the approval of the man or woman of the moment and I just didn’t want to be a part of it especially as if I did talk to them and I found this happening countless times when I was in school is that I’d get into a conversation with them about something only for another person to get ‘jealous’ of the attention that was being paid to me and then constantly try to muscle in on the conversation and switch it. I’ve notice it because me being the way I am, I’m oblivious to certain actions but others stand out clear as day to me. An example would be I’ll be talking to the person about one topic and someone else who wants the attention will muscle in a try to change the topic altogether. I don’t like it and it annoys me a hell of a lot.

I suppose it’s because I prefer to know that full attention is being paid as it bothers me how I might put full attention and thought into what I say and the other person doesn’t really because they have so many other people talking to them about different stuff that it just becomes pointless for me to continue.

I do not blame them at all as it really isn’t their fault, nor do I blame the people who insistently try to get the attention they crave because everyone is just doing what comes naturally to them and I’m sure people aren’t aware of it but that is just as well why I choose not to hover and bother “popular” people as much in the presence of the ‘puppies’.