So why see the world when you got the beach

Like I said, Frank Ocean literally shits on other R&B artists, I can't believe that at one point I actually preferred The Weeknd to Frank at one point but I suppose that was understandable due to the fact that The Weeknd had just come out with House Of Balloons and Thursday which my goodness I got lost into them. However with Echoes of Silence things started changing.

I found that while Echoes of Silences was good it just didn't grip me as much as the previous two mixtapes. There were certainly more high points on there in comparison to the third mixtape which was a tiny bit disappointing. Then came the features on blockbuster albums, The Weeknd on Drake's Take Care and Frank Ocean on Watch The Throne.

Your presence is like a never ending nightmare to me. Begone.

Time to start, today is the day I start pre-season training, all I need to do is get a head start on my cardio before the actual preseason training. Consider this year to be the year where I show just how good I am.

Doubters can doubt but in all honesty I am looking out for myself. I have no need to prove anything to anyone. I shall do this by myself, I've come to realise...that the betrayal is too much for me, yet I keep getting lured into the same trap, the trap where I trust a person and yet I am betrayed by them. I say...that I don't fully trust people, which is true...I don't. However the amount of trust that I've given certain people in the last few months has been too much.

I see you flaunting about and generally just being in my face and it makes me sick. I should not be bothered by it but I am. I am disgusted that this is how the world operates. I am disgusted by the injustice of it all.

I've repeated this over and over again but that's because it's actually affected me that much and that...bothers me.

I wish to see you unhappy because you quite frankly do not deserve to be happy. I am aware that I am a bit blinded by certain emotions however this sentiment would still be felt regardless, the only change would be I would be less vocal about it.

Am I being arrogant? Am I acting in a manner that I think that I am better than you? Yes...yes I am but that is quite because I am. You do not see things the way I do and......look...I dislike you. Go away and leave me alone. I actually wish I had never met you...that's what I want to say but this is a lesson. A valuable lesson for me. To not trust people like you ever again.

Friends? Or merely people I tolerate?

Ahh a week and a day, well it's still not bad. I just had to get my thoughts right for this month. I had to know what my target was for this month and it's been sorted.

But this entry isn't about that, this entry is about so called friends. I am...or rather I was at a point where I was just feeling so low and it was worrying. It is the reason why I didn't update for a week. Yes yes I am aware that this online journal is to record my deepest and darkest feelings but I just couldn't...for a while, I needed to compose myself.

So while the barbs of this entry may not be as...stinging as I might have been had I done this a week ago but...there is not much I can do about that.

Today will be a brief one

Really have to stop thinking these thoughts…it’s like I can’t just be happy and I have to find something to bring me down. Or maybe I was never actually that happy in the first place. I don’t know anymore. I really have no idea what I’m really doing in life anymore.

Slimfast

Oh wow, I've lost weight? I didn't notice...well, didn't notice that it was as much as they said it was but yeah. Hmm I suppose so, still would like to lose more but either way this is what I said would happen, I'm really am starting to wonder why people do not listen to me more.

I did say that before the surgery and when I was told to stop playing football that I would put on weight due to lack of football so I didn't need people to point that out to me especially as I'd be losing it all again when my operation was done.

It was hard at first but only because I'm a stubborn person and return a bit earlier than I should and didn't let on that my knee hadn't fully recovered but hey I love football that much.

So what's next? Well like I stated I'd like to lose more simply to be a bit more agile when twisting and turning out defenders but I just don't have the discipline to go to the gym or whatnot regularly so I rely on playing football to get me the way I need to be.

So here I go continuing on a journey to be the best, the very best like no-one ever was.

Attacking it head on and with force

Hmm, hmm, hmmmmmmmmmmm, my procrastination has led me here, heeeere to my backlog of things to do/watch/play/listen to/whatever else adjectives that spring to mind.

I am writing this waaay before this has even gone up as a blog post so maybe (unlikely somewhat) I've done some things on the list already but so far....nah this isn't going to be a list, it's a muthafugging plan of action bitches.

Right first things first I must finish Final Fantasy XIII-2 within the week or something whilst alternating between watching the anime Claymore and the DVD Deano lent me.

Not only that, I have to also finish Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon on my DS so whether I play that on my travels or before I sleep it's got to be done.

Haven’t we been here before? Alternative title: Same shit, different toilet of a tournament

England out, oh deary me, and on penalties too. What a shame and the same topics come up in discussion as the last time they were out of a major tournament.

Do I feel bad at this? No. Just no. Italy deserved to go through and the only reason I'd've ever wanted to see England go through to the final is so that the training scheduled on the exact same time as the match would have to be cancelled but it doesn't matter now does it, they are out =D

I was watching the match at the…boozer and I was talking to someone…(memo to self, must make an attempt to actually learn the names of my temporary workmates) and they mentioned about how when it comes to England football games, the culture is one that you see on documentaries and programmes which at first you think that it can’t be true and it’s merely an exaggeration but you know something? It’s not.