Friends? Or merely people I tolerate?

Ahh a week and a day, well it's still not bad. I just had to get my thoughts right for this month. I had to know what my target was for this month and it's been sorted.

But this entry isn't about that, this entry is about so called friends. I am...or rather I was at a point where I was just feeling so low and it was worrying. It is the reason why I didn't update for a week. Yes yes I am aware that this online journal is to record my deepest and darkest feelings but I just couldn't...for a while, I needed to compose myself.

So while the barbs of this entry may not be as...stinging as I might have been had I done this a week ago but...there is not much I can do about that.

Attacking it head on and with force

Hmm, hmm, hmmmmmmmmmmm, my procrastination has led me here, heeeere to my backlog of things to do/watch/play/listen to/whatever else adjectives that spring to mind.

I am writing this waaay before this has even gone up as a blog post so maybe (unlikely somewhat) I've done some things on the list already but so far....nah this isn't going to be a list, it's a muthafugging plan of action bitches.

Right first things first I must finish Final Fantasy XIII-2 within the week or something whilst alternating between watching the anime Claymore and the DVD Deano lent me.

Not only that, I have to also finish Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon on my DS so whether I play that on my travels or before I sleep it's got to be done.

Heey Foxx, happy now?

So I really ought to start updating this thing a lot more often really. I mean it’s not like nothing interesting has happened in my life to justify status updates and I do have lots of thoughts I wanted to type down but you know what? I just never get round to it.

But I did say that I was never any good at this, I’m always seeing things as projects and then when I can view the final product or something then I get bored of it…I find this happens all too much and in lots of different ways, for me it’s more about the journey than the actual destination. Not just that but the fact that once I can realistically see the destination I tend to want to just get on with a new project as then I know that it can be done by me hence why I have a LOT of things unfinished.

But I think a routine is needed and hopefully I should be able to get into that and I guess it’s about time as I’ve gone long enough doing what I like and being unstructured.

I think at the very minimum I should be updating this thing once a week, four times a month but I know that sooner or later I will slip up but oh well what can you do.

Trade shop

Seriously, getting annoyed with the wait for mods or anyone to approve my trade shop but yeah yeah I suppose I do understand why the wait is necessary or even there in the first place, I guess it's going to be filled with kids who don't read the rules and fill it up with threads which clearly DON'T FOLLOW THE RULES, that being said, there are adults who do the same but yeah...just waiting and waiting, besides the sooner I get this open, the sooner I'll get my good IVs legendaries to battle with.

Maybe it's because of all the people that they deal with but certain mods can come across as a bit arrogant and tripping off on power and it's just one of the reasons I dislike it when I see people suck up to mods or just authority figures in general, I mean geez, they don't have any power, people only just perceive them as having power and just go along with it, which of course in turn leads the person of authority to actually believe that they are untouchable and eurgh, they get power mad.

So yeah, that's pretty much why I don't really like positions of authority and I suppose is a reason why I act with impunity towards them...by them, I mean ones who believe that by their being in that position they automatically Have the right to lord it over people.

But come on now, it’s been a week since I posted it, I checked and yes I did follow all the million rules you have, I know that you’ve barely done much regarding trade shops in the last week because I’ve only seen 2 new ones open, surely there can’t be that many that broke the rules and all but what gets me is that there is no way of finding out which one a person might have broken as there is no feedback, they pretty much say, “If it has been a long time then assume your thread broke the rules and try again.” Well firstly “a long time” is defined differently to everyone and for me a week is long enough (and even then I was being generous) and secondly if a person doesn’t know what rules were broken how exactly are they going to improve the second time? That logic just does not work in real life. At. All

Alas…my wait continues

Delays and some more delays

A major setback to my return to sport occurred yesterday. Frustrated with the lack of information regarding my status on the waiting list for keyhole surgery on my knee I called up the Royal Free Hospital in order to gain more information and for my efforts I was rewarded with the information that I hadn’t even been put on the waiting list yet. So the last few months, complete waste, an absolute complete waste. I should have been on it since August 16th but nope, I have not so now they’ll call me back after looking at my details to see what is going to be done but I don’t really have that much faith that they’ll even call me back to be honest, either way I’ll leave it until Monday to do something about it.

Speaking of which, was it my fault? Should I have checked or something? Maybe I shouldn’t of had that much faith it the system because at the end of the day the system is massive let-down. But what could I do? I was told after seeing a doctor about it that they’ll add me onto it and I should hear from them within that timeframe. I even gave them a week or two just in case it was delayed or something but enough was enough and this quite frankly was a kick in the balls.

I had hoped to be back in football around December, January at the very latest but it seems I might have to start all over again with the waiting and even then I don’t really have a clue when I can be back and what sucks the most about it is that, it’s the only thing I can really do, the thing that I enjoy and without that…I don’t know. I even put on weight, I attribute that to lack of football and even then if I wasn’t doing football I would just go for a morning run most days to keep in shape but I can even do that because the pressure it puts on my knee so I’d like to thank the NHS really but I don’t want to be too critical especially in matters where I might not have the full story but this has sort of been hell. I miss football. I miss having a football at my feet. I miss going to training to work on becoming a better player. I miss getting up 9-10 in the morning on a cold and windy Saturday in order to travel on trains and buses in order to play a game of football. I miss coming back home all sweaty and tired but satisfied because no matter what match it was I tried hard and felt it was worth it. I miss thinking about the match I had and thinking on what I could have done better and everything. I miss having that routine.

I can’t help but think things actively conspire against me at times but I hope things resolve for the better for me soon. I don’t want to fall that far from grace just yet.