And there she goes…

And here we are point zero. back to the beginning, landed on a snake, go to jail, do not pass go, do not collect....the end of something, something beautiful I thought. But I was wrong.

I've many thoughts about the why and what’s but I cannot answer them as for me things don't really add up, she's left me nothing really except a half-hearted attempt to convince me not to give up and that I cannot predict the future. No I can't but at some point people do have to make educated guesses and quite frankly your whole demeanour and attitude left me with no confidence whatsoever.

I've tried to look at things from your perspective and failed and tried again, failed and I just can't do it. Why? It just feels like it was all pretty much a lie, you telling me how much you loved me and that. This is in no way an attack on you or anything but right now I have been thinking about it a lot and I have just a lot of answers that need answering and you fail to give me them. It's a bit silly really, I don't know why I keep wanting answers when you yourself can't even tell me how you feel yourself.

So is it any wonder I have to fill out the gaps myself and I just...ehhh I don't know, it just feels as if I'm missing something, something you can only give me an answer to but you're either flat out not wanting to tell me or you just don't know and it's the second that gets me more frustrated. Like how am I supposed to know what to do if you don't even know know what it is you want me to do.

But I think I'm done anyway, I'm not wasting anymore time on this, thinking...hoping there's a chance that this is only temporary when I have received no vibes to indicate that this is even the case. Sigh...maybe, just maybe...