The return of the soundproof rooms

Well then, it's been a while for a lot of things and another time of serious reflection, firstly about this time of the year and how this is usually the point of the year where something bad happens and it pretty much sums up the whole year and it makes the winter months very very unpleasant but so far I've avoided anything major like that but alas I suppose I should count the fact that my right hearing aid is now gone...and it worries me, the silence doesn't bother me at all, now that I think about it, if I wanted to live the rest of my life in total silence I'd be okay with that but the thing is with this mishap is that it's always been a choice for me. To have sound or not, it's always been a choice for me.

I guess that's the good thing about having hearing like mine is that I can choose whether to hear what the world has to say or not.

But anyway, that was the first issue, the second issue is work which I'll put it up for tomorrow or something.

In a soundproof room

Well that was unprecedented...never before have I experienced something like that, just panic and pure stress over this.

I was replacing the tubing as I hadn't done so in a while and quite literally the hearing aid fell apart in my hand and eurgh, not only was I disappointed that something that I was so dependant on, something that I take the greatest of care to look after seeing as without sound everything is affected, something so important...whether I liked it or not, could fall apart that flimsily and that really shook me.

So after stressing and panicking about what to do, calling and falling to get someone at the Nuffield Centre which...you'd think that something so vital to deaf people would be available at all times but alas they were not.

So my options were pretty much to go early in the morning and try and do something about it but somehow I doubt that's really going to do anything about it, that time is really on my side. It really could not have come at a worse time and it's a running pattern in my life, the things I'm most excited about, something will come along to ruin it...and I know I shouldn't have that sort of mentality and that I should be stronger but it really is frustrating.

I can't even remember a time even in Mary Hare where I had a day without hearing aids because they broke like that but we had an audiology department so I suppose we had the support but imagine how vulnerable I felt when suddenly access to help was extremely limited and I felt so restricted in what I can do.

This wouldn't had been bad if I wasn't working but the fact that I was got me even more down because I know that I'm at a hearing disadvantage, therefore I know I have to work twice as hard in order to keep up and that's okay, it's not a problem, the easy way out would be to nothing and get a job or put myself in situations where I don't have to interact with other people but that's not me, not in this job no way.

Anyway, so now I'm more relaxed and less stressed now but still a bit annoyed as sound is something I cherish and really do not take it for granted. Ahhh sound, how you are all now distorted and just a bit muffled, how you are now making me work harder than I already do...why must you have all this animosity for me and treat me like this.

Ah well not much I can really do about it, I suppose I'm at the mercy of them really...