Positive and negative

So a neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink and asks how much it is and the barman replies "For you, no charge"

(BOOOOOO, GERROFFF THE STAGE!!!)

I got a call today and what was that for? Well it's for Yoomoo and an interview after they read my CV and come Monday I'll see what my job situation will be like then so I'm hoping for the best and I will go all out and really try to get this thing...which brings me to the thing I was thinking about in the first place. Me.

Yes yes I know I know, I think about myself a lot and yes I am incredibly self centred and all that but in a way I think that it's a good thing in some ways because, it's because I think about myself so much that my biggest critic is me and only me, you would not believe the amount of criticism I hurl at myself, I am very rarely satisfied with my own performance whatever it is and always believe I could have done things better and more efficiently and what not.

I also genuinely believe in myself and my abilities, I strongly believe that my limit is non existent and that I can do anything given motivation, time and a lot of other factors. I feel this way constantly, when I do tests and exams, no matter if I go out all out and try hard, I always manage to convince myself that no I didn't, I can do better, that I should have revised more or whatever because I can do it, I never see a reason why I can't do it...ever. This trait is also apparent whenever I play football too as at the end of every match (pre injury), I would feel disappointed whenever I did not get man of the match, because it felt to me that people were just over looking my contribution to the game and my influence but at the same time I believe that yes I did do good but I could've done more.

I suppose that means that when I did get it I would be happy right? Wrong, whenever I got it I would feel that I could do massively better and that I'm being awarded it on some basis that I really did not want to be judged for, like I didn't get man of the match for the "right" reasons.

So that's me yeah, do I feel that people do not understand me? Well duh of course, I think of myself as being very simple and complex at the same time. I apologise if that last sentence came across as being whiny and that (no I don't but whatever), but I say this because as I was thinking about myself today, mainly my attitude I don't know, but it seems to me that people just consider me a negative person but I digress, I think of myself as a realistic, oft mistaken for in these times and that if anything, I'm more positive than negative, no the sky is not collapsing and no there aren't pigs flying but it's true I think. I don't think that I intentionally make comments of the negative variety it's just that negativity and realism is such a fine line that it's easy to mistake one for the other, in times of hardship I will try and focus on the positive, I'd think and tell of an example but right now I believe that my time on this is up so in the words of a Liverpudlian presenter, ta-ra for now.