It mystifies me how in TV shows relationships don’t last long, ok, it’s not that that mystifies me but the fact that it usually ends because of one simple problem that could have been cleared up if the people had just said what they meant in the first place rather than speaking in cryptic codes so that one person misunderstands and confusion occurs and…they inevitably break up or whatever. I personally don’t like getting involved in people’s relationships because I feel in a group of friends enough people stick their noses and meddle in the affairs of other people that it just becomes a relationship not just with the partner him/herself but with the partner’s friends, family and anyone else who cares to get involved.
This not to say I’m a private person, I’m done with that. But I just don’t go round bringing up my relationship in every third sentence. Some people do and that’s their prerogative but just because I don’t that’s not to say that I don’t care about it or that I don’t want to talk about it just people get it mistaken for an act of privacy or that I’m uncomfortable about it when I don’t say much about relationships
I have observed some stuff about them so I present the 3 C’s to relationships, this also counts for friendships as well but I was thinking about relationships this time.
Commitment
You can tell a relationship is just a quick fling one or more persons don’t show enough commitment. This is not to say that you should ‘tie yourself down’ with the first partner you get but I see in these sitcoms and stuff how one is taking it seriously with the other is just treating it in a different way and so they see the relationship differently and they don’t put in enough commitment into the relationship.
When one sees the relationship as all fun and games and will treat it the same way unless the other feels the same way too then it’s just a recipe for disaster because if one doesn’t really see the relationship going anywhere then I’ve never understood why they persist but I guess that makes them them.
Compromise
Everyone is different and everyone wants different things and so it is quite understandable how this might affect a relationship but sometimes a little compromise can go a long way. Failure to compromise and understand just sets the scene for massive confrontations and arguments which sometimes puts a strain on a relationship. I’ve seen it in these shows where person A who I’m going to call Charlie wants something and person B who I’m going to call Jamie (hurrah for unisex names) doesn’t want it and either just gives in or they’ll just not do it. So if Charlie wants to go to a party, clubbing a night out whatever and Jamie doesn’t, they’ll have this loooooong argument about what to do and so on, cut to a later scene and the Charlie who went out bemoaning the fact that Jamie doesn’t want to spend time with them has slept with someone they met while going out and then the storyline drags on until they find out at a later stage (Christmas if you live in Walford), then there are tears and stuff all because Charlie and Jamie couldn’t reach a compromise.
I watch this happen so many times in the media and I think to myself “well, if they really understood the other person’s feelings on the matter a solution could be agreed with less animosity. Jamie doesn’t have to go out at all but Jamie does need to understand why Charlie might want to, how Charlie’s personality is that makes it so that Charlie wants to go out. The same applies to Charlie in the understanding Jamie’s behaviour. If they understood each others feelings and personality then maybe whatever ever decision they decide to do whether it’s they both stay in or go out or they do their separate things without the hostility, it doesn’t put a strain of some sort where one person feels that themselves or the other person is being too demanding.
It certainly would go a long way in improving the relationship of many seen in different mediums.
Communication
Baring in mind that these are NOT facts or even me saying that people should do these things, everyone is different hence have their own way of dealing with things and events
Me giving relationship advice? Now the world has gone topsy turvy, but seriously? Communication. Things would be so much better if people communicated a lot more.
I turn to a time leech website on all the different ways that communication can break down and it’s mostly the kind of situation where you’re shouting at the screen “JUST TELL HER YOU LOVE ALREADY!” in a frustrated manner but they never do and they don’t know how the other person feels or whatever and it becomes a case of Poor Communication Kills and then it drags on and on and on and on (bit like my blog posts), they’ll get each other in the end or if it’s going for the other direction, one will find out the other’s feelings when it’s too late and I just think…we could have avoided all this.
The same thing applies I think to relationships, there are times when one person is hmm, how shall I put it? Not best pleased with the other person but rather than communicate this in a calm manner that can prompt a bit of discussion and that, they end up holding it in a taking it out on the other person which just leads to resentment growing in the relationship which eventually spills out and can damage a relationship.
Sometimes I think that to communicate in a calm, reasonable manner is certainly the way to go as it does avoid a lot of drama. See it’s quite easy for me to say this as my head rules over my heart and my emotions are…hmm, probably in check a lot of the times and though admittedly through practise I am less prone to outbursts of anger and the likes. But I do understand that that might not be easy for everyone and that sure sometimes emotions get the better of you but if a partner can understand that and thus react accordingly then relationships in my opinion would be a hell of a lot smoother.
Of course there are more things that works in a relationship and that every relationship is different and thus there cannot be a one size fits all guide to it but I reckon that in some cases the ‘three C’s’ is a good way to go by.
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